can i keep you?

sorry folks... but i'm leaving blogspot permanently. i am continuing my random thoughts at tumblr ... follow me! adeus!

http://adeusss.tumblr.com
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adeus ao mar

it's been a great experience, but now it is time for even more greater ones.

march madness

thank you for all the wonderful moments, march.






helloooo april.





adeus.

i don't know what i can save you from

"Promise yourself to be strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. To talk health, happiness and prosperity to every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel that there is something in them.

To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.

To think only the best, to work only for the best and expect only the best.

To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.

To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile.

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear and too happy to permit the presence of trouble."

Author: Christian D. Larson

I'm doing my best to keep that promise.. but you are a big factor to why i break it.

adeus ao amor.

i'll miss you more than anyone in my life.

here or there? here or there?? here or there???!!!

i don't know which one to choose. fuuuuuck my liiiife!!!!!!!!!


adeus.

i can't afford to not record.

sometimes, i sit in the women store of my work and stare out the window. from walking on the sun to what i had answered on questions from my midterm, i think about a large amount of things. for today's session, i thought about my life and where i am at on my goal list.. and now my heart and pride are broken. i have not attained any of my goals within the past 6 months. yes, i became manager of my store. yes, i have moved to a decent apartment. but those were not any of my goals. i am slowly setting myself up for failure in most of my classes and my work has already initiated the process where personal life is nonexistent for me. i am seriously losing it. and i am seriously disappointed...in myself.

i refuse to give up. this IS merely a bump in my road. nothing more, nothing less. i can do this. i know i can. i just need to snap out of it. that's all.

you can see your destination and yet it is sooo far.

adeus.

it may not be the right time, i may not be the right one...

i try. i try so hard that i can feel my blood boil from frustration. and yet, here i am. lonelier than i have ever been. so upset and very ashamed of what we have conspired within the past couple of days. and the crazy thing about all of this..is that i miss you. or maybe i miss what you used to be. i don't know. like you said, i don't know what i want. and you're right. i don't even know how i feel about us anymore. i just keep hoping and wishing and praying that something, someone can save US. but that's it. why should i have to resort to something other than us? it is apparent that you and i can not be a "we". it's just not the right time... and maybe you're not the right one. but... like the song says... there is something about us. sometimes i wish there wasn't. and as much as you think that i need to calm down and not be so serious.. how can i not when i am seriously in love with god knows what anymore. i'm in love with what we had and you are doing something that leads me to believe that we have a trying chance! i can't do this to myself anymore. nor type away like this.






soo on point. but there is not happy ending on my part.


adeus.

day of borning

sooo i always thought that it was foolish for people post up their "bday gift list" or "xmas list" on their blogs or myspace or whatevs. but i can't resist! i don't expect for me to receive these items, but shhhhiiiiiitt. it would be awesome if i did!! hahaha..i'm getting way too ahead of myself. so, these are some things that best describe my taste and what consumes my life:

chocolate that's suites my needs



edible sushi is always a plus


shu uemura anything actually.

this awesome cup



dell mini 9 preferablly with the web cam and 16g memory space.


i like green stuff..



and i would like my gifts to wrapped like this.

buahaha! honestly, my list is never ending. o well.. hmmm... one day i tell you...i will have a room full of these random things!! for i will become rich from posting stupid shit like this!! just wait.. you'll see!!



happy bday to me in 3 days yeee!



adeus.

so he says..

i slept like a red-headed slut last night..


BUAHAHAHAHAAAA!! ohhh billy bildo, how i love working with you!




anyway...

i wish those were my fingers that were clamping his teets..

adeus.

and now it looks to me, she's about to leave

soooo i haven't been blogging everyday til my bday. sorrrryyy... i don't think anyone wants to read about stress and yuckiness.. so i gave it a break for a couple days and now im back on my happy feet.

i'm wearing these pleather tights thinking that it will keep all the heat in, but noooooooooo. my legs are suffering from frostbite. either way, i feel cute and i received many compliments on my outfit. which was very nice! i never get those kind of things especially from complete strangers.. and yet these strangers were oddly dressed. so maybe......yeeeeeaaaaahh.

i think there is a ghost in the women store of upperplayground. everytime i work in there, shirts would mysteriously fall to the ground and there are no customers in sight. and i would hear weird ass sounds too. i dont know maaan.. we got some upperplayground ghost haters up in this bitch.

okaaayyy...it is time for me to leeaave.




one more thing..






there's always someone watching you....


so don't pick your nose or masturbate.




adeusss.

stressssed ooooouuuutttt

_ very big fam issues
_uncontrollable mood swings
_yellow fucking boot
_curse of the bday month


i highly dislike today. i just want to enjoy this month and have a great birthday. i know i still can but today reeeeeeally discouraged me. ughhh.. CAVEAT! i am in one of those moods.


tonight's goal: plan my shit out for tomorrow

tomorrow's goal: get shit done and NEVER ever feel sorry for myself ever again.





adeus.

Thought I’d never see The love you found in me Now it’s changing all the time Living in a rhythm where the minutes working overtime

"honestly, I don't think it exists. its just a word that some random buffoon created because he was bored with his life, craving for something attainable that's some sort of higher power. its a lame excuse for people to do stupid things, have unexplainable mushy feelings & go out of their damn minds." - rachel garduque


i agree with everything except for the first sentence. it does exist, but i do believe that everyone has the wrong connotation of it. this word is certainly not always great. at times it is, but there are other times where it fucking sucks, hence my last post. people just need to accept that this word is a learning process and should not be resented. ughhh..but what do i know?

anyways...





superbowl 43...... although i not heavily into football, i believe and had been told that is will be a very great game. unfortunately, i am here at work, folding away, watching the game through numbers.. yuuuuuuuccckkkk. the good thing is, polamalu is whoopin. well.. parker and miller are doing it for the team.. i don't know where my baby troy is at =(



i just want to pull on those luscious locks....






haha. well! its the 1st of my b-day month!! and i am going to try to blog everyday till then. so be prepared for some weird, lame shit for the next 14 days!! yeeee.


adeusss.

Faster than the speed of sound Faster than we thought we'd go Beneath the sound of hope

it's interesting to me how life, people, situations, and even places have a correlation between one another. regardless if you are in a big city or a tiny town...this world is small. you are bound to run into someone that holds a memory from your past. it is inevitable that you will find yourself in a place that you a familiar of, but just can't pin point it. deja vu is a mass murderer and we are her victims. so when you feel lost, alone or even depressed just remember, that you are bound run into the inevitable. with this said, opportunity will find its way to you, but its up to you to grab or let go of it. and i just happened to grasp this opportunity. until further notice... i am happy.


its one or the other. no maybe's, no "i dont know's", no more grey.


black or white baby.





adeus.

no words can make up for what you do.

my eyes are swollen. my legs are numb. my chest feels tight. when will this end? sometimes.. i can't even fathom how i got here. how did i end up like this? i've grown up to be someone that i am not. and it hurts.. i must say, that i know this is a phase.. and i am only typing my current thoughts and feelings. but geeeezz.... this really fucking hurts. well at least i can say that i am human and i have a heart (which is currently needing repair). man..i really thought i was a robot. i guess right now, i wish i was. beep beep boop.

easier said than done.


adeus.

como se deletrea?

mi primer nombre es, jenae. jenae se deletrea, j-e-n-a-e. gracias.

today in spanish class, our teacher taught us about Latin American culture and how Latin American names consist of the mother's paternal maiden name. The mother's maiden name comes after the father's last name. for instance, my name is Jenae(first) Alexa(middle) Suarez(father's last name) Galang(mother's maiden name). interesante, no? now what caught my interest (enough for me to blog about it) was the fact that many of my fellow classmates were very uncomfortable about saying their mother's maiden name. a few said, "i don't know my mother's maiden name". other's said, "i rather not say". most just didn't say anything at all. and as a human of femine characteristics, it is my sworn duty to over analyze this and let my imagination grab hold and run with it. i became curious. i wanted to know why this exercise was sooo uncomfortable for these few individuals. and soon enough, i needed to know. i needed to understand their reasonings which could potentially be tear jerking or what i wanted to believe could be a dramatic experience.

yea yea yea..i can smell the judgement through the screen as i type away. but don't act like you were never curious enough to imagine. and don't sit there and think i'm odd when you know you've been needing to know if your man or woman is cheating on you when he or she didn't come home last night. at least im curious about things that can not hurt my dignity and make seem psycho. i just do not have anything going on in my life. i need some sort of drama. but i'd rather witness the drama than be a part of it.

but back to my story.. i didn't want to ask nor did i want to pursue in finding out. i just wanted my mind to make the story and give it a happy ending. and it did. sooooo...the reason why these few individuals did not want to say is because..... they're robots. and their mother's maiden names' are beeeep boop bop beeeep beep boop bippidy boop boooooooop. something along those lines. this concludes my story of the mysterious no-mother-maiden-last-name individuals of Spanish 1A.

another note.. i need to make this into a sticker and put it on my forehead.



it is final.




adeus.

50% OFFFFFFFFFFF

CHECK IT..


come visit me and fuck up my folded shirts. buaahahaha...no but seriously, come visit me and grab some cheap (but great) gear!!


adeus..