i'm on your back

things are slowly falling into place. but this time, i have learned to appreciate everything that comes my way. bad or good. life is gooooooood.

aaaghhh...my dog is getting soooo big! now i know how it feels to be a parent. well, not really. but i do feel that he's growing up too fast.

for a second, i was thinking about giving him away. i know, i know..why would i do such a thing. its called "stress" and the last thing i would want to do is neglect the poor thing.

maaaan, fuck that! look at him! would you give him up?...i don't think soooo.

he's the other man in my life, FiLLMO' $LiM.


as for the other man in my life, we are great. he once again made me feel like its our first time for everything in our relationship. mmm, i love getting the butterflies when i think of him. it really lightens up my day....and makes my panties wet. HA! sike! well...you know what i mean.

so i'm going to san diego aaaaand i'm pretty nervous. i don't know if i am just anxious to devour ten tons of authentic mexican food or if i am just scared that i will want to stay in SD. whooooooo knoooows.

you have to forgive me, but i am just too lazy to type everything that is going on as of right now. i think that is why i was soo hesitant to start one of these. i do not remain to maintain. ugh...i should become a rapper since i can rhyme involuntarily.

lethargic-ness = no blogging.
i'll update you guys next time...

maybe.




adeus.

break up to make up

what are you highs and lows?

lows:
-i'm still sick.
-i'm tired of opening the store every day.
-i didn't sell anything :(
-it started raining on my shopping day.

highs:
-the person i mentioned in my previous blog, finally gave me the closure i need to get over my insecurities.
-i brought lunch to work instead of contributing more money to my fast food binge.
-my lung infection is slowly decreasing.
-i haven't smoked for almost about 2 weeks.
-gained mental clarity.


sometimes you need to break up to make up. SIKE. last night though...inexplicable. and i'm saying that in a negative way. thinking that blogging my emotions away would help relieve some tension only contributed to my aggression. i seriously went off the deep end and said many things that i did not mean.

it is funny how when a person is so upset and hurt that they resort to saying irrelevant, rude things to those they feel are patronizing him or her. the person is completely conscious of what they are saying and yet they still feel compelled to say things that are wrong.

well that was all him and i last night. <--is that correct grammar?

good thing is, we finally got over blaming one another and admit to our faults. hopefully the context of the previous blog will be the first and last time to be posted up on here.

soooo, this is day two of my experience with blogging. so far, i feel like an idiot typing all this nonsense. it is similar to how you would feel if someone caught you talking to yourself. and not just any talking, like verbally relaying messages to yourself. i'm talking about full on deep conversation with yourself. wouldn't you feel dumb if someone were to catch you in the act of verbally elating with yourself? well that's how i feel now.

and yet...i like it.

until we meet again.....

adeus.

im new.

hi. this is sort of foreign to me because i usually just keep thoughts to myself but i couldn't resist. after reading a blog from someone who meant a lot to me, i felt compelled to pour my feelings out onto the keyboard, hoping i can gain some kind of relief.

he talked about how beautiful she is. he described his sorrow from being away from her. he depicted his admiration of her personality. he secretly and unintentionally revealed that he loved this girl. funny how this blog was posted on OCTOBER 05, 2006. now you must wonder why i find this so amusing; we began dating in OCTOBER. we began what i thought was a sincere, miraculous journey towards a potential, hopeful relationship.

i'm confused because he gave me the impression that i was walking into his life without him having any attachments. i thought that he was content with life and i was just a positive add on. instead, i'm the distraction. a rebound.

so this is mainly the reason why i started this blog. not all that fecal matter that just typed. but the fact that i have no one else to turn to. no one to fully trust. see on here, you will never know my name, or the people i talk about. unless i deliberately send you this link. but for everyone else, this is basically something you'll find yourself reading when you are at work or school, dying from boredom.

until next time...

adeus.